Stuck -> Unstuck

I am stuck in my own silly head! And this time in a bad way. It has been a while since I did that, but I think I'm becoming more and more... depressed I guess, scared also, and definetely numb. I feel sick just thinking about going back to school. I am not ready for all the pressure, stress, and constant monitoring and evaluating. I am just not ready.
I also have been thinking even if or when I finish, what is next? I want to make mistakes, try things, move places, regret moving and come back... I want to get a big dog and think why did I do that, I want to be free to try things. But I can't. Because I have responsibilities. I wanted to be an adult so that I can be free to do whatever I want and now that I am, I have less freedom then I ever had.
So that and much more is going on in my head right now. Not good at all.
I'm sure I will come out of it stronger than ever, with more ideas, hopes and dreams. For now it is the little things I try to cling to. One of them being my mommy taking me shopping - what can be better right? Clothes makes everyone happier, and it sure gave me a little boost. The rest is going to come I am sure. I wish I could write about cold weather, hot tea, knitting, cozy slippers, and many other soft and cuddly things, and they are all there, I am just being real - I don't feel all that at this moment.
I am just going to take it one step at a time.

Little photos

I have mentioned already that for Christmas I got the new Polaroid camera I wanted so much. Have been taking it with me and snapped a few photos of various events. I decided to keep a little journal just for fun. I still have to do a couple of pages like the one on our Russian Christmas, but here are a couple that I already did. I use materials that I find around or that have some meaning, like the background paper on the Christmas page is the paper that we used to wrap our presents this year... It is quick and fun, no rules, no boundaries. I hope to keep it going and become more creative at it.
I used an old scrap book that I had laying around, but I want to make a cover for it, just don't know what I want it to be just yet.

Happy Birthday, husband!

Ah, even two and a half years later my heart skips a beat when I call him my "husband"! Twenty seven candles and a couple of meltdowns on my part later we semi-successfully celebrated Jenya's birthday! I am so thankful God gave me six years together with this amazing guy! He's my "old" man and I love him so much! I pray that there are many more birthdays to come so that we can perfect this event! (Maybe a few less tears and many more candles sounds like a great future!)

Wish List - quilting fabric

We are about to start a new project with our Friday Night Crafting Club. Sonya is leading us into a hexagon quilting adventure. I am excited because I have been thinking about making a baby quilt for quite some time and the hexagon quilt sounds lovely to me!
I am now thinking about the fabric colors and patterns I want to use. There is this store on Etsy called Freshly Squeezed Fabrics that had me drooling over their fabric bundles like this one.

As soon as I thought of quilting, this was my first choice of fabric! This bundle is just so juicy and colorful! I fell in love with it at first sight. The only problem is it is very girly, and my deal with baby things I make, I don't use baby blue or pink so that it can be used by both boy or a girl. This bundle is just so girly, but I can't resist it!
Another bundle I fell in love with is from Purl Soho, of course, and it is solids in red to yellow spectrum! This one can be used by both genders and many more patterns can be used with it.

This is all I have for now. I also want to just go to local fabric stores and see if I can get some ideas for a theme there.

Nostalgia

Isn't it interesting that the good memories also make you sad? I wonder why is there a longing to that past that we are so readily recall. Being nostalgic is a mixed and complex feeling. It is amazing how a cup of tea and wafers and a can of cooked condensed milk can take you right back to that long past childhood, where everything was simple, where there was no grey only black or white - good or evil, where there was no death, where someone took care of you, where you were at peace. Having this late evening tea with the little treats of my childhood made me also realize that I still have that longing to my dear Ukraine, that I am still some times home sick... I thought I was over that. Yet somehow, unexplainable thing happened - the sadness  the memories of the things that will never come back, the nostalgia made me happy.
Happy and sad - we immigrants and grownups always are.

New Knitting Project - babywearing, snuggling, nursing shawl/ babyblanket

So recently I finished my blanket and am so happy that people are interested in it, this is the first time I made something without a pattern and I am happy to know I can actually pull something like that! Yey for me! Haha!
But as soon as it was done, I began searching for the new big project to work on. (Actually I started looking even before I finished the blanket. Searching is one of my favorite parts in the making of something new). So here is what I found - a shawl that can be used when nursing, baby wearing, snuggling, can be a baby blanket or even a cape! Amazing, what can be better, right? I found the pattern here, and it is easy and oh so lovely! I had a skein of madeline tosh merino in maple leaf and I am loving the results so far!

Done! - Big project:Bubble Baby Blanket!

It all started as a summer vacation project to take to Russia with me. The yarn was obtained and the idea began to come to life. Then it all changed to something completely different. At the end it turned out to be a 46" x 46" Bubble blanket that I am  utterly in love with!
What makes it warm and cozy is the bamboo yarn that I picked with my mother in law and she later had to send me more via mail. So this blanket technically made a complete circle around the earth when it was only a ball of yarn! It was then carefully planed and crafted with memories and love in every stitch by yours only! It is a baby blanket that can be used in a crib as well as baby bed up to a few years of age, I am sure.

If anyone wants to reproduce, most of it is double crochet back and forth, except for the skirt and the trim. I am going to attempt to make a sort of a pattern to explain what I did.


Bubble Baby Blanket (BBB)
I used 100% Turkish pure bamboo 3.53 oz 241 yds in five colors about three skeins in each color
Round 1 (color 1): chain 220
Round 2 (color 1): ch 3 *dc 5, make the bubble: dc 5 in next st turn the work upside down insert the hook in the bottom of the same st and dc 7 more in the same st, slip st in the first stitch of the bubble (you can find some pictures on how to do the bubble here, the directions are in Russian, but the photos will help)* repeat from * to * until the end of the row. Turn the work.
Round 3 (color 1): ch 3, dc 220, turn the work
Round 4 - 30: repeat round 2 and 3 alternating the colors until you crochet 30 rounds (or the color strips repeat in all the colors three times over)
This completes the skirt of the blanket.

Round 30 - 130: beginning with color 1 **ch 3, dc 220 turn the work** repeat from ** to ** for 100 more rows alternating colors every four rows.
This completes the main part of the blanket.

Round 131: slip st into the first st,*** form a bubble: ch 3, do 4 incomplete tcs in the same st so you have five loops on your hook then slip yarn through all of them, ch 1, slip st in the same st you have been working on, slip st in the next 3 st (I got this idea from here, only modified it a bit to make the bubbles bigger, but this lady has more pictures to explain the process) *** repeat from *** to *** until the end of the row alternating between the five colors of yarn.
This completes the bubble trim

And you are done! Very easy-peasy, just a bit time consuming. But the results are wonderful! I can already see how much fun it would be for the little one to play with all the bubbles!

I am now actively seeking a new long term project, possibly a couple. They most likely will be baby related again. I will be sure to share!