Friday, May 10, 2013

I am back!

Last time I posted was almost two weeks ago - my god! My blog is almost a year old and because of these last months before my graduation, I have already hit a wall with my writing and photography. But I want to be back. I am going to change my blog reading list, find some new inspiration, and continue my blogging journey.
Yesterday was my last day of clinic! We have one more not-so-hard week of school before graduation! Soon I will be an RDH (registered dental hygienist). Oh it is so hard to believe! You know what else is hard to believe - my parents are gifting me with a family seven day cruise to Alaska! My dream come true! Aaaah! Is this finally the time when I get rewarded for two years of hell?! I am nothing but grateful to God and everyone He sent my way to help me through this crazy time! 
I still can't believe I am done, but it will slowly sink in, bit by bit, and every time it does, I am just happy it is in private, because I start crying. Man, what an experience - life changing for sure!
So much is behind now, things it feels like I will never forget (and hopefully forgive some day), but even more is ahead! 
What might seem to be little things are now taking place, but to me they have great meanings: 
- I can now make coffee in the morning (I have the time!) 
- I can finally put the earrings back in (I was wearing them non-stop since I was 6 years old, they are my grandma's, and the instructors made me take them out for who-knows what reason, oh cause they weren't posts, or something, but now they are back in my ears!) 
- I get to wake up slowly, not jump out freaked out by the thought that I didn't remind my patient about our appointment.
I AM FREE is all that is! And it feels amazing!

Here are a couple of instagrams to catch up on these two past weeks of my silence...

I got a new phone - one of the graduation gifts from my Jenya!

I got my cap and gown! "Class of 2013" - you better believe it!

I journaled to get me through this mess!

And I sent invitations out for my graduation! I drew my own picture, scanned it and printed it out to washi tape it to pre made cards - BINGO cute invitations for under $10! 

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Little guests and a walk in the park

Baptism - I'm a Godmother now.

My little babies! It has been two weeks now that we baptized them and they are just more and more joy every day! I am thankful to God for sending them to me (all three of them - their mom too). What a joy!

We won!

First we were stressing out, because we had no idea what to do. Then we were crying because we thought we failed. Then we were crying because we found out we passed! What a day!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


In about 30min I am going to take my last clinical exam. I don't count days till it is over, I just know that I am very close and that it is scary! Like, less-than-a-month-left type of close. I just really hope that God walks me through it, because I feel overpowered by the significance of these couple of weeks in my life. I barely craft, I don't blog, I don't even read my favorite blogs anymore. I did start a journal, a personal one, just because I feel like these emotions are so hard to share, and I barely have time or emotional strength to analyze them, but I want to remember them, because at the end it will all work out and I want to remember how scared I was and how God just made it all work.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Crafting club

Now on Fridays again, we finally gathered together for a little bit of crafting. Friday was a great day, I first walked with my new friend and my two little girlies, then to Sonya for some crafting. Crafting really gets my brains back together, otherwise I would be brain dead by now. S thank God for this club of ours!

Tomorrow is a big day! I will become a Godmother! Very exciting!

A beautiful day together

It doesn't matter what we do, as long as it is not arguing, it is always fun! My husband is my best friend! This Sunday I told him I will go wherever he wants me to, so we went to the desert to shoot his toys and to go offroading. Just two of us having fun, even though it is not what I usually prefer doing, being with my husband is the best activity! And of course I didn't miss the opportunity to capture a little bit of beauty even in the desert.

Friday, April 12, 2013


I still do the things I always do - crochet roses for little babies' hats, knit my bolero, and create other things in between. However I don't feel inspired to write about it all. I passed a couple of tests, including the one needed for my license (thank you Lord!) and it feels like I am getting closer. I am drawing my last strength for this, and I really hope that I will blog more in the future... For now, here are some instagram photos. (And my amazing husband caught and cooked this yummy trout for me)

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

God is AMAZING!!!

My God is absolutely amazing in His generosity! Only three days ago I was worrying sick that I had no patients to test on, almost heading into depression. He sent me a patient and I was able to organize 20 more people to come for the rest of my class! I mean from trying to find a person for myself, guided by God, I went to organizing this big community outreach! How absolutely amazing is that?! This situation of disparity once again showed me how amazing my family is - my mom, brother, dad, and husband supported me through this thing! Without them I would be nowhere.
Huge, right? More than I could ever imagine!
But wait! There is more! He also sent me a bundle of joy! I've met a new friend at church. Her name is Anastasia too! And even her alone would be more than enough fun and joy! But she also has two little girlies that are going to become my little Godchildren in two weeks! I am going to be a Godmother to two beautiful girls! How amazing is that?! We met last Sunday, but already went for a morning walk in the park with kids and talked. I can tell we will be great friends! I fed the little ones and changed their diapers - so much fun for me (you know how crazy I am about little children). I am learning so much from Anastasia - she is a great mother with so much wisdom! You have to have wisdom to have two little babies on your hands when you are my age!
Can you tell how blessed I am yet! For my feeble trust in God, He rewarded me with more than I could ever wish for!
Trust in Him is all I can say...

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Another life

I have this weird feeling that I don't want to be here... In this life, I don't want to be running around town all day long looking for patients and then crashing on my bed exhausted. I don't want to be thinking of all the papers I need to write tomorrow. I don't want to be responsible for my life, yet have very little to do when it seems to be shaking. I don't want to be investing my time and energy in something that might not come to be at all...
In my mind, I imagine this free life of traveling, and crazy night hikes, of coffee with the sun rise on the beach, of my old film camera in my hand and a silk skirt on my hips under an Eiffel tower, of wet grass on my feet and sun in my face and wind in my hair and salt on my lips, of irresponsible actions and unimaginable moments - of young life that I somehow skipped...
Maybe I shouldn't have started thinking of children and family so early in life, maybe I shouldn't have placed all these responsibilities on my poor head before I even tasted the free life. Straight out of school into college, straight out of first love into marriage, straight out of childhood into adulthood. Now I feel like I missed something great, something I had to grow tired of first, before I got where I am now... Maybe I worked too hard on guarding my thoughts and actions, on keeping myself at a balance...
Or maybe I am just tired, stressed, and discouraged... Because I love my husband and want to have his children and take care of our house, and build our life together.
My head tells me that I should erase these words and shoo away these thoughts, but my heart whispers that when this is over, I will buy film for my camera, find a silk skirt, load new music into my ipod and go somewhere where the air tastes salty, wind is cool, grass is wet, sunsets are breathtaking, and thoughts are light... After all we can be free together.

Friday, March 29, 2013

О будущем

О будущем нимало не тужи,
Церковным людям не к лицу тревога.
Все будет так, как нужно для души:
Нет ничего на свете ближе Бога!

- Иеромонах Роман

Повторяю этот стих в голове как молитву. "Все будет так как нужно для души" потому что грядут тяжелые и напряженные для меня времена. Возможно после следующей недели два года моих трудов закончатся видимым провалом. Но сколько жизненной мудрости вместил Господь в это короткое время, а значит ничего не зря. Жизнь с Богом несравнимо легче чем без Него, ведь всему дан смысл, теплота, и забота. В ответ же спрашивается душевное усердие и любовь к Нему и смирение перед Его волей.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Little family makeover

When I brought them home, Jenya said that when we were buying the doll house, this family was actually already in the house, but at that point I said I didn't want them because I didn't like the way they looked. It is interesting that they stayed in the store and we found them later and I ended up taking them back to their house.
But it is true - I didn't like the way they looked. The big hair the faded and stained clothes in crazy colors, and the father, according to Jenya, looked like he would be driving a minivan kidnapping little kids - in other words plain creepy.
So I gave them a great makeover, that actually involved shaving their heads - literally  because the mother's hair was so big, I had to shave it down before wigging her. I even performed plastic surgery on the father to shave his huge cheek bones down before hiding is crazy little teeth behind a mustache and a beard.
They are pretty happy with the way the look now, and so am I. I shopped around for another doll family and non of them looked the way I wanted them to, but these three are it!
I came up with some random names for them too.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Doll House - Kitchen

Three posts today! I guess with a week away from school, I have more to tell than with months in it... So this one is about something I did today - finally put floors and tile and the kitchen I renovated earlier in! There is much more to be done - adding food and island and maybe a rug, and some wall art, but it is definetelly exciting to have my first room completed! It is looking cozy and I am hopeful for the rest of the house to turn out good some day! For the lights in the kitchen I put two spotlights under the hood above the sink, I like the way it turned out!
Now my new obstacle is to figure out some kind of turning table for it - should I buy a pretty table for $150 or should I but a turning thing and look for a cheaper table... That is my dilemma at this point.