Sunday, September 30, 2012

Sunday night park walk

For the most part we are stay at home kind of people. We love our house, enjoy each others company in it (usually) and don't see it as boring at all. But there comes a day every now and then when one of us feels like they need to get out. I mean, we go places of course  just not as often as other people, and big part of it is school and work. Anyways, today was the day when we decided it was much needed  plus it really cooled down in the evening. So we went to the nearby park and walked around and talked. It was dark and a bit creepy, but we were chewing on our unhealthy snacks and discussing our plan for next weeks hunting trip.

Here are some photos from our walk in the same place in August 8, 2010 (we got married in 14 days afterwards!)

I am

Today at church they were talking about being present and the message really spoke to my heart. They were saying that God is eternally present he is "I am", as He Himself called Himself in the Bible, meaning that He always is, not was or will be.
I feel like I am an agenda kind of person. I need to have some kind of idea or a plan for a day, a week, a life. I examined my heart today to realize that I plan way ahead and concern myself with things that are not even up to me. Even with wanting kids I sometimes begin to think it through (when I finish school how am I going to work if we will have a baby right a way, or if we wait then how much longer would we need to wait, or maybe we should try and get pregnant now while I am still at school, but then what if I get kicked out from the program, then I will not be able to reapply...). Why do I bother if it is not even up to me. It is up to God and I want my husband to be ready for it too.
Even crafting and blogging, such an innocent and good thing, I turn into a plan, because I want to finish this, or write about that. So when my husband comes home I give him just enough time to feed him and ask him how his day was and then go back to whatever it is I need to achieve today. I will be really honest here (I think it is very important to learn to be honest with yourself) sometimes he wants to hug me or kiss me or talk to me or cuddle, and I yell at him to leave me alone because "can't he see I am doing something". What? Something more important than the dearest nearest person in the whole wide world? The future father of my kids, the present head of our family, the one thing that God sent to me to cling to and love and cherish, and finishing a blanket, or uploading a photo is more important?! No! It shouldn't be! Nothing is more important than loving. It doesn't matter what you were doing five seconds ago - fighting with each other, eating, or blogging - if he is ready to love you (kiss your toes, pinch your nose, tell you about whatever it is he just discovered or remembered, give you a hug, or say "I am sorry", tell you a joke, or just plain stare at you for a while, hug you while he is falling asleep, or share his worries with you) then it is time to put everything aside and love! Because the truth is, once you do, it will soften your heart and you will forget all the hurt and importance of whatever it was you were up to before, because nothing is as important as giving and receiving love. But you have to be present - not just your body, but your mind and your heart also.
Now I am also a dreamer, I like to think about things that might happen in the future that I really want, like having a house, having kids or being pregnant. Having dreams is natural, but sometimes I get carried away and it is like I want to be there already, so I miss the present moment. School is hard and times are tough now, but I have so much to savor and be thankful for. I come home and I can relax, I still belong to myself sometimes and can do what I feel like doing. I assume it will not be possible when we have children. I am in process of learning, in the middle of becoming someone new, I am full of hopes and dreams about the future, I have intimate moments with my husband it's just two of us now and we can do whatever we like - that some day might not be possible and I should cherish those moments now.
I get so caught up in my dreams that they become an agenda and I feel like once I get there, life will be easier and more pleasurable. The reality is it might, but it might not. And that is just fine, because life is great now. Sure things will come, when it is time. There is time for every activity and we should cherish every second of this life we are given. It is hard, but acknowledging the fact that it is much needed is a first step.
A second step for me would be to set up reminders on my iPad about six times a day, to remind myself in this whirlpool of life that I should be in the moment, that this moment serves a purpose and that it is going to be just fine!
Today is the day that I choose to stop being I was, or I will be, or I should be, or I could have been, and instead lean into the wisdom of God and become a tiny bit like Him and be I am.
P.S. yes, mommy, I know you told me so, just two weeks ago, and you were right, and I am sorry! I just had to see it for myself. You would think by now I would start listening to my mom because she know better, but I guess it takes even more mistakes than that...

Friday, September 28, 2012


From time to time I try my skills at doll making. It is hard! But very rewarding! For the most part I tried polymer clay and fabric. I like the idea of soft body, but clay gives an opportunity to make face arms and legs exactly how I want them. Every doll I make is precious to me, it is hard to not like what took you so long to make...



They are oh so different and it is clearly because I am still in search for a perfect material and style for me. I actually have another head waiting to be wigged and to get a body, but I don't feel inspired just yet.  I also tried a new doll medium for myself - fabric. the first prototype did not come out as I wanted it to, so we'll see how it'll go from there... I will be honest, it is discouraging when you try something and it does not exactly come out the way you want it to. So some things end up just laying there, but I get back to them sooner or later and finish them anyways, so all me dolls get a body and some hair. :)

My model

So I guess I can finally say it - my Jenya completed his courses passed his boar and regional license exams and is now an official Realtor. Yey! Things are still going slow as he needs to learn and get to know the right people or something, but he is in the group now working for a company and now gets his own cards and profile page. So he needed a photo, a portrait  Well that is my kinda thing - I took him to the park and we took numerous photos. Here are a couple that I like...

And then ofcourse I had to show him how he should look in the camera to give people a feeling that he is the right person to find/sell a house for them...
Um... not sure what I meant by that...
and then I was just being me for a bit...

It is going to be up to him which photo he will use, but my favorite one is this one
Man, my hubby is the hottest thing on earth (for me of course)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Wish list: photography

It has been a rough week, so I don't have much to show for myself... hence all the wish list posts. One can still dream, right? So here is one for photography - another passion of mine, that started about three years ago with my first DSLR camera - a gift from my dad. All of these are from (a place that a photography fanatic like me shouldn't even look at to avoid extensive drooling).

Polaroid Z2300  makes me want to cry, I want it so bad! It is beautifully designed, awesomely fun, and gives huge amount of possibilities for creativity! Same goes for Zumi. My dream is to enhance my photography experience with the Polaroid and start taking videos with Zumi. All I need now is... money! Or maybe somebody very very loving (hint hint ;) )

Monday, September 24, 2012

Used book love

As a kid I loved looking through grandma's Burda magazines with all the crafts. My grandma has quite a collection and I was fortunate to snag my favorite ones from her.
I think of this memory as a reason for my passion for craft books. I mean, with internet and sites like pinterest and craftgawker, and plain google search you can find anything your heart desires. Yet my little library keeps growing in size and I look through it frequently. There is just something about books in general that can't be replaced by computers. Or at least I think so.
There is a used book store close to our house that I discovered not so long ago and they have great books for really low price that are hard to find. I don't go there for anything in particular, but I head straight to the crafting section and pick whatever my heart leaps at.
So today I had another clinical test at school and on the way home decided to stop by that little store to find something little to reward myself. Sure enough I immediately knew that this pretty book is going home with me. How can you pass on a book full of cross stitching projects with characters from children's French and English books? They have Madeline, Babar, Angelina the ballerina, Vinnie the Pooh, and more! I couldn't take my eyes away from it and am still looking at it now!

You can bet your sweet... ehem... whatever you would like to bet... that I paid those $4 and ran out of there before they changed their minds!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Fall knitting and crocheting patterns

I usually have a certain number of crafting projects that I try not to go over. I do that to make sure that I actually finish them and don't get overwhelmed. But what I person who loves to craft to do but dream about more projects, right? Here is some fall dreaming... We are still in full blown summer here in Vegas, although it is much cooler in the evening and in the morning now. I dream about orange and yellow leaves, warm clothes, hats, gloves, and scarves, pumpkins, and acorns.




Saturday, September 22, 2012

A productive day

Usually I feel like the most productive day of the week for me is Saturday, because it is my day off and although I have to do my homework, I am not as hectic as when it is school time.
Usually on Saturday I try to get some sleep in. When I wake up, I make a plan, in my head or on the paper, of what needs to be done. I am pretty good about doing 95% of things on that list. Today I made a list on the paper because it felt like I had a lot, so I didn't want to forget anything.

Besides doing laundry, ironning, washing dishes, and things like that I made a couple of things that made me a very happy girl today.
First of all I found a new favorite soup - cream of mushroom. Of course I had cream of mushroom before, but this recipe is super quick and it is out-of-this-world delicious! I now have two quick recipes of soups that I would eat any time of the day (first one being chicken coconut soup, of course).

I served it with toasted basil bread and cheese.
Then I also made poppy seed strudel and that turned out quite yummy as well. And it is certainly pretty! I used sweet and rich yeast doe. For the filling I soaked poppy seeds in hot water for about an hour, then drained them added a bit of butter, sugar and honey to taste, and a tsp of vanilla extract. I then put it all in a blender and mixed.

After my husband came and we ate together, I made myself another delicious new thing - this time a drink. I saw a similar idea on pinterest and modified it to my liking. Basically I boiled coconut milk and poured it over dry lavender flowers, then added some honey and let it steep. The smell was AHMAZING! The taste was pure deliciousness and very calming.

So that is my day. Now to finish my homework for the day and go crochet my baby blanket.
I did so many things today, yet this post is kind of lazy. I could have made three different recipe posts out if this, could have taken beautiful photos with my camera, but instead just used my iPad... Oh well, hope it is still useful in a way.

Paisley Farm

Yesterday we had our Friday night club (as Mila decided to call it), and Sonya, the owner of Paisley Farm store on Etsy, gave me one of her hand made beautiful iPad covers! I immediately fell in love with it! It is such high quality and so original with such attention to detail. Thank you Sonya! I love-love-love it! She has a big variety in her store and she takes custom orders! I think these are better than all those felt ones that are out there - these are still classy but so bright and cheerful and a lot more work is put in them!

Her store
Her blog
Her facebook


Yep. I use to model... I stopped because it didn't fit with my vision of who I wanted to be. It was difficult for me to keep authenticity of who I was, because having cameras on  you and knowing that people think you are beautiful definitely gets into your head... So I stopped for the sake of my husband, myself, and our future.
I haven't even looked at my old photos for a few years, but for some reason stumbled on a couple albums today. I want to share a couple for the old time sake. I got to admit, I was surprised at how good some of those turned out... Here are a couple of my favorite...


That's enough of that... What do you do with all those shots of yourself?.. It's not like you can put them on  the wall... kind of useless if you ask me...