Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Kind deeds give hope

To be honest, I have noticed this about myself - it is hard for me to share my deeper feelings with anybody, so my writing here tends to be more shallow, I guess. Here is what I have been thinking - wouldn't it be nice if we could stop and think, before talking. Especially if it is bitter talk, say for example after your beloved husband tells you your opinion doesn't matter... Let's face it, I know he doesn't mean it, but it hurts, so what do I do? - go into defense mode. My every thought is concentrated on hurting him back. I don't know, maybe it is not normal... Maybe it is an acquired habit from being an older sister and fighting with my brother a lot when I was little. I don't know. Sometimes I don't say anything, just drop it and don't say anything. I must say, it is hard at first, but after the first couple of minutes the feelings are about the same as after a loud fight with many unnecessary hurtful words. Only when the words do slip out, the feeling of guilt prevails - so why do it? I don't know why we do it sometimes... But the point is, I just think it would be great if we could stop thinking about our own feelings and see what the other person might feel in reaction to our words.
"Nobody asked you" will be hurtful, no question about it, especially if it is not fair and your decision suppose to matter in this particular question... But what benefit is there in replying at all if you know that even that was said out of defensiveness, or hurt, or protectiveness. People are weird creatures - so self destructing some times! That's why we need God in our life! He is our light, our only hope.
On a brighter note, people can also be amazingly cheering and kind in their little expressions of care and love. My husband, the same husband who hurt me later, in the morning made me lunch to take to work, which allowed me to have a proper breakfast for a change. Also a little French lady that came into our store and bought a safe, came back and brought me her signature French banana bread. The only thing that makes it French is that she is from France and has the cutest accent! It melts my heart just writing about those unexpected sweet things. I think these little things, along with all the love I get from my family - is what keeps me in good mood and gives me hope for humanity. I am just going to concentrate on those and try to forget about the hurtful words that some times, very rarely, slip out...


  1. Nastya, you are wise little woman, it is very important to learn such things as early as possible and you seem doing it well.

  2. Sorry, my lovely girl. We are passing this hot temper from generation to generation wich together whith our sharp tounge makes pretty dangerouse weapon agains the loved one.I hope with your wisdom and big heart you will stop this "bad gean" from spreading further. Love you,
    your mama