Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Love Dare - Day 3 Love Is Not Selfish

Day 3 - Love Is Not Selfish
We love someone and expect them to make us happy, but our expectations are selfish and selfishness is the opposite of love. We are all selfish but love "does not seek its own" That means that we should stop counting hours we spend caring for our loved ones just as we should stop counting money and time that our loved ones spend on themselves - love is seeking ways to say YES.
What would my life be like if my priority was his happiness? There is this Russian poem that I really like and it translates about as this:
I will knit you a life from soft and colorful yarn,
I will knit you a life and gift it to you with love
Where do I get the yarn for this gift, it is a secret
I am secretly unraveling my own life...

It sounds a lot better in Russian, but you get the idea...
So here is what I did, I got him shoelaces. It sounds funny when I say it but he hasn't been wearing his winter shoes because the shoelaces on them got ripped, and he didn't know where to get them. So I found them for him.
It felt good secretly putting them in his shoes and then I left a little note on top...
Well he didn't notice it at all, looked right at it and didn't see. When I pointed it out, he said thanks and that was it. I understand that it is nothing big, but I showed that I was thinking about him. He didn't really care.
This is getting harder and harder. It is actually hard to do something for someone every day when they barely notice you or what you do at all...
But that is precisely the point of this dare, isn't it.


  1. This idea about loving somebody not because being loved back is very true and much deeper than we might think about it. Not many people in our society can accept this idea that's why so marriages fail..

  2. May be Jenia reading you post ( or mind) and doing his par of dare - challenging you?