I know I fell behind on Day 4 and that is a bit sad, but with this week being final clinical week for me, I was beyond stressed out and exhausted. I did two more dares but didn't have time to post about them, and then I skipped a day all together. I set down to read that chapter and half way through, realized that I have no idea what I just read, and that was no way of doing it, so I gave myself a break... Well, here are the two days I did do - day 4 and 5.
"Love thinks. It is not a mindless feeling" the book says. It then goes on describing how we think about our spouse all the time when we first start dating. We are preoccupied with what they are thinking and what they are wearing. But then as time passes, we start to get used to each other and think less about our loved one. If we don't invest thought into our marriage, we end up missing out on it all together, instead of savoring every moment, we end up missing the important things in each other's lives. Being thoughtful in love involves planning their birthdays, composing their daily meals, and even as simple as wondering where they are and what they might think or need at this moment. So here is the dare...
I will say that I was at school all day and only remembered to do it late in the afternoon. I caled and Jenya was working so he couldn't talk much. Goes to show that some of these things just depend on what you are doing at that moment - let's face it our lives are hectic right now, but it also opened my eyes to the fact that sometimes we need to stop and remember each other.
Day 5 - Love is Not Rude
This one is right up my alley, and I will explain why in a second. This chapter talks about some of our behaviors that might embrace our spouses in public. Particularly about being rude in one form or another. King Solomon said: "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife" (Psalm 112:5) Quarrelsome? - I had to look that one up. It means prone to starting dispute or complaining... Ouch! I think that is me... Especially when I'm stressed, tiered, or annoyed - and that is now. I think this is the one thing I want not to be, and I am. I also am pretty sure that that is the major thing that my own husband dislikes in me. That is a pretty serious subject. So here is the dare for day 5...
I asked him, and he said that he doesn't know three things, but he definitely knows one - he hates when I start arguing with people about anything. He says I snap at people when I disagree with them. He also said that even if I don't share their point of view, I should avoid the argument. I knew he would say that because we have been in that situation before... And I know I embarrassed him. How about that. That is a lot to think about and work on. Because I think he is right.
I will be honest, I already get discouraged sometimes, because changing yourself is not as easy as saying "ok, I'm gonna do it!". It is definitely a first and very important step, but I fail so many times, it seems impossible. Here is something I thought about in church today... Being in an academical program that is way over my mental and physical capacity, taught me to rely on the "miracle" or God. And He delivers every time. So if this task of changing myself is way over my capacity, why not rely on a miracle there too. So I ask You, God, today, You are all-powerful and You are capable of anything, so please, help me change my heart, break me and rebuild me, because I don't want to be quarrelsome, I don't want to be rude, I don't want to embarrass my husband! And let any change made in me be not due to my strength or determination, but to glorify You!