Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My first day without grandpa

There is now a hole in my heart, and any time I remember about it, it hurts. Just yesterday I woke up not knowing what it is like to lose anyone, having all of my grandmas and grandpas... One early phone call and I am now very well aware of what it is like, what is death like, what is loss like.
He is with God now, and we have plenty to be thankful for - having terminal cancer he just left peacefully.

I think I look like him, because mom looks very much like him and I look very much like mom.
We love you, grandpa, we miss you very much! You were an amazing person, quietly taking care of everyone, not making a big deal out of it, I some day want to be like you!

This song says it all

All you saw was pain
All you saw was rain
But you should see me now
Moments filled with tears
Lasted all those years
Disappeared somehow
You never said goodbye
On your knees you cry
You're still asking why, but

Blue has never been bluer
True has never been truer
Honey never tasted so sweet
There's a song in the breeze
A million voices in praise
A rose has never smelled redder
The sun has never been brighter
If I could find the right words to say
If you could look at my face
If you could just see this place
You wouldn't cry for me today

What you think you see
Isn't really me
I'm already home
You've got to lay it down
'Cause Jesus holds me now
And I am not alone
Your faith is wearing thin
But I am watching Him
And He's holding you, too

What may seem like years will just be a moment
Oh, the day will come
When I'll show you where you're going
I can't wait to show you that


  1. Настюша, мы соболезнуем, крепитесь в этот нелёгкий момент в жизни!
    А похожа на дедушку ооочень!Глаза точно его!)

  2. So sorry about your grandpa passing. He was loved and surrounded by the family, this is very important, have my condolences.

  3. This is a wonderful song. I think grandpa Boris at home now and we will meet him there.